I’ve been wrestling whether or not to write this blog post or not for almost two weeks. But it’s time to tell one of my forgiveness stories. After all, I’m asking others to tell theirs as part of my mitzvah project.
Asking for forgiveness is like guilt that lingers over you. Until you ask for it, it sticks with you, can consume you and never seems to go away. After reading Zita Dube-Lockhart’s post on friendship, I was reminded about two friends I had to let go very reluctantly.
I was friends with these women for over 15 years. But one day, they stopped returning my calls. To this day, I have no idea why. I did send them messages asking for forgiveness without knowing what I should be sorry for. I just wanted a chance to talk one last time – to put closure on a relationship since that is what they seem to want.
But after a year of wondering, wrestling and worrying, I let them go. It still saddens me.
On the other hand, I’m very thankful when my best friend of 25 years forgave me when I betrayed her. I can’t say what happened except for I wasn’t there for when she needed me most. She was rightfully angry and was ready to toss our friendship away. But she gave me a second chance. I’m glad she didn’t close the door on our friendship and she accepted my apology.
Zita is right when she says friendships are not unconditional and needs nourishment to thrive. Sometimes, that nourishment is accepting an act of forgiveness and sometimes, it’s letting that friend go and plant their own seed elsewhere.